Communication.

Communication.

What is communication?  Is it speaking? Listening? Reading? Writing? Gestures? Understanding?  How often do we understand what someone is conveying to us, through any medium?  Communication can be very difficult when you're not ready to listen.  It takes a certain amount of humility to listen to someone whose views you do not agree with.  Any disagreement can turn into an argument or fight simply because you choose not to listen.  You have to be open-minded enough to listen with intent to understand.  You're not listening if you're just waiting for your turn to speak.

Are you listening with a biased mind?  I was recently involved in a situation where I was trying to help two friends to communicate and overcome a perceived slight.  Each person felt the other person was in the wrong.  Each person was not aware of the other person's being offended.  How are you supposed to know you've offended someone unless they tell you?  It was very frustrating to try to get them to understand that no one can read your mind and you just need to come out and tell someone that you didn't like what they said or did.  It seems so simple to me, but elusive to others.

Do you have a hard time communicating with others?  Do you feel that people never understand your message?

New Adventures.

It's been a little over a year since I quit my corporate job and jumped into the unknown adventure that is freelancing and consulting.  I was so depressed and unsatisfied with my previous job.  I found myself sleeping when I wasn't working or being stuck in Southern California traffic for upwards of 3 hours a day.  How did I end up in a job that I hated?  It was boring, completely without any mental stimulation, and it was causing me to get further and further away from my goals.  I wasn't too sure what those goals were, but I was sure that one of them wasn't to become a lifer in a cubicle sans windows.

I came to the realization that I was just not the type to have a "career" or "stable office job" or any other air quotes you'd like to use.  Why do we compartmentalize ourselves when it comes to work?  I've always considered myself a Jane of All Trades, Master of None.  What to do for a living, and how to enjoy it;  it seems most people struggle with this their whole lives.  "Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life".  I've heard this before, and it always seemed so idealistic.  It still seems idealistic, because that statement assumes you're good at what you love!  I love to dance, but there is no way I'm good enough to make a living at it.  But, I'm ok with that because I don't want to end up hating one of my passions if I put too much pressure on myself to be good enough to make a living at it.

I knew what I wanted: freedom.  I wanted to be free of a 9-5 set schedule.  I wanted to be free of hours of traffic.  I wanted to be free to make choices in my life.  I set myself free.  I saved up some money, and I quit my job, in the middle of a recession, with no new job lined up.  I joined a friend's start-up doing freelance sales and marketing, and I was on my way to forge a new path for myself, without a set schedule.  My summer consisted of road trips, lazy days at the beach, dancing to my heart's content, and a handful of work.  I didn't really make any money, but I was enjoying my freedom!  I learned to live on less, much less, like most people do when they no longer have a stable income.

I realized, I'm not too good at being my own boss, but I'm not ready to quit.  Perhaps I needed to ease into it.  I got a temporary part-time job to pay the bills.  Just barely enough to pay the bills.  Any time I had to drive in traffic, I felt traumatized.  PTSD for those of us that battle So Cal traffic every day should be a real disorder, if it isn't already.  I still wasn't ready to get a "real job".  I joined Rodan + Fields Dermatologists as an Independent Consultant.  Alright, some additional income to keep me from getting a "real job".  I just signed on as a Public Relations and Marketing Consultant for another start-up.  My common theme seems to be no more "real jobs".

Making ends meet is a real struggle and a constant worry.  What I don't worry about is waking up late and getting fired.  I don't worry about whether I'll fall asleep in traffic.  I don't worry about being able to take a day off for a doctor's appointment or a "mental health day".  In fact, I don't really need a mental health day anymore.  I'm finding my way and I'm working on becoming a better boss to myself.  It takes discipline, but so does getting up every morning at 5am to battle traffic.  I've made half the money but had 10 times more fun.  I'm ok with that.